Sunday, July 31, 2016

Infertility Update

This past week has been a rough one. The side effects from the medications and progesterone have made me feel miserable. Because my blood tests showed I'm ovulating on my own this cycle, my fertility clinic had me start giving myself the progesterone. Plus, they said the Clomid lowers your progesterone, so they want to make sure I stay on the higher end. They also have me eating pineapple core, which doesn't taste too bad. Progesterone and I hate each other. I took the oral progesterone last time before my last miscarriage. The side effects I had during it weren't as bad, but this time around it's a whole new ball game, and my doctor says I can't take the oral prescription. So I'll follow doctors orders and keep giving myself the progesterone every night at the same time. I have to lay down immediately after, because it makes me so dizzy and I basically pass out and fall asleep 5 minutes later. I have the most terrible headaches, shakiness, muscle twitches, hot flashes, freezing, nausea, exhaustion, dizziness and pain. But you know what??? It won't last forever and it will all be worth it in the end. I'm still just waiting to see how my body is responding to the medications. My ultrasound still wasn't showing us the same results as my blood tests, so I'm just suppose to continue with the monitoring, medications and labs through this cycle and the next until we get the results we want. 
I've been going to the most amazing acupuncture Doctor since we started going to the fertility clinic. His office is just down the street from our fertility clinic. My husband and I were so skeptical at first, but I've had such a great experience each visit, that we've been going often. I went last week before my monitoring ultrasound and lab appointment at the fertility clinic, to have fertility acupuncture done. On our way home from the fertility clinic, my acupuncture doctor called just to see how things went at our appointment. I thought that was so sweet! The nurses at the fertility clinic have also called and have been so encouraging! It's so nice to have doctors in your corner cheering you on during hard times like these! 
I love the quote, "Be the same person in the dark as you are in the light." As we were traveling early yesterday morning, I loved how the sunlight was shining through the darker storm clouds. It reminded me of this quote and how there is always light after the storm. I've changed a lot (for the better) during this journey, and I've tried to stay my positive, happy self, even through the side effects. Some days are easier than others. I've learned so much and met so many amazing people! The support I've received from women going through this same journey has been overwhelming. I'm so incredibly grateful for them and for my amazing friends! They are the best and are like my family! My kids have made time go by so fast! Watching them grow and soaking in their laughter is the best medicine! I love being their mommy! My husband has stayed by my side, holding my hand through everything. I couldn't do this with out him and the support from my sweet mom. There's some of our family that aren't very supportive and don't understand our journey, but it's not for them to understand or learn from. This is our journey and trial. We don't focus on them and it makes us more grateful for those who are really there for us! I appreciate every text, phone call, message, gift and prayer. I try to return the kindness I've received and give back to those who are struggling or suffering in silence. I hope my words let them know they aren't alone. So for now, we will just wait and I'll keep taking my meds and hoping to see light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's all in Heavenly Father's hands and that gives me so much comfort and peace. 

The Keeper of the Crayons 

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